The Ultimate Test
by chuls
Summary: Clark is done. He can't stand spending time with Lois anymore when she doesn't even know who he is. Lois is not done. She refuses to let Superman walk out of her life, and she's going to find him (and then probably teach him a lesson). This is not set in any specific Superman movie/tv show/comic book/etc. world.


Lois looked at Superman, while tears dripped down her face.

"Why? Why can't you … why can't I see you again?" She asked. Clark looked away. He didn't like to see Lois this way.

"Please Superman. I love you." She whispered, desperate to change his mind. Clark peeked back at her. The first time Lois had told him those words, he felt like he would never be sad again, but now … all it did was bring him pain. _Superman, I love you._ Even just thinking it brought on a wince. Why Superman? Why did she have to love Superman?

"No, Lois. You don't love me." Clark replied, pointing at his chest. "You don't love _me_." He repeated quietly. Lois blinked up at Clark confused.

Clark wanted to explain that Lois saw him everyday at work, and she not only didn't love him, but most of the time, she could hardly stand him. She didn't treat him with any respect, and every time she looked at him … it was like she was looking at some annoying little kid she had to babysit.

Not being able to stand Lois crying anymore, Clark flew away. He forced himself not to listen to her calling him back. Clark flew to his apartment, and went inside. He wasn't up to being a superhero tonight. In fact, he didn't feel like being a superhero anytime soon.

LINE BREAK

Lois would have liked to say that she took Superman's rejection maturely. So the guy wasn't interested. She needed to move on and find something else to occupy her thoughts. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

She had spent every night for the entire week following the rejection out on her balcony, calling for Superman. He never came, and it didn't escape her notice that he wasn't showing up anywhere else either. She scanned the news every morning and night. And as more and more time passed, her hope of getting a glimpse of Superman faded.

It had now been almost three weeks since anyone had seen Superman, and during that time Lois had spent a considerable amount of time thinking about their last meeting.

 _'You don't love me_ ' he had told her. But it wasn't in a self-conscious sort of way. That was the weird thing to Lois. Superman knew Lois loved him, and Lois knew Superman loved her. He was careful with his words; he'd never said it, but she knew. _You don't love me_. Those words would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Signing in resignation, Lois looked back at the article she was supposed to be writing. ' _Where in the world is Superman?'_ was the witty title. Lois had no idea, despite what many people suspected.

Bored, Lois started to make a list.

'Maybe he's sick' she wrote.

'He had to pick up the kids from school.'

'He had to go to work.'

'He's getting a much needed back massage.'

'He had to go-' wait … Lois looked back at her list. Those were things normal people did. Not to say that Superman wasn't normal per say, but she couldn't exactly see him going to the grocery store, which was the next thing she had started to type.

 _You don't love me._ There was no way, but … what if? Who was me? Was me Superman, or … someone else? Lois had never considered it before, but what if Superman had another life, outside of his Superman responsibilities. He wasn't always around, like now for example. So where was he? That was the same question she'd been asking herself all this time, but this time, the question meant something else. What if at this very moment Superman didn't exist, because Superman, the real Superman, me, was being someone else.

But then who? Who was Superman? Suddenly it made so much sense it almost knocked Lois right out of her chair. Superman was a man, real, with a job, and a life, and … a name.

 _You don't love me_. Of course! He loved Lois, but in his eyes Lois only loved Superman, which wasn't true, but he obviously didn't see it that way.

Lois leaned back in her chair staring at her computer screen. She knew what she had to do, but how would she do it? It was impossible. She was in love with a man, but she had no idea who he was, and he refused to make himself known to her. She had to figure out who Superman was, with only her intuition and love to guide her.

It was the ultimate test of love. It made sense why Superman would want that reassurance, but seriously? She loved the guy. It didn't matter what his name was, or what he wore. But apparently Superman didn't realize that. Stupid man!

Glaring, Lois erased what she had typed. When she found him, and she would find him, he would fully understand the saying, "Hell hath no fury like a woman's wrath."

LINE BREAK

Clark was dying. Not literally, but he felt dead inside.

Three weeks. It had been almost three weeks since Lois had looked at him, really looked at him. He wanted to cave and see Lois as Superman more than he'd ever wanted to do anything in his life, but, then what? He loved Lois. He loved her so deeply and desperately. Before he loved Lois, he didn't even know it was possible to love someone so much. He loved her so much he felt like the cells in his body would rip out of his skin and fly to her, needing contact. Clark shook his head. His thoughts were getting weirder everyday without Lois, but it was true.

But how could he be with a woman who looked at him with disdain and annoyance everyday? She barely tolerated his presence usually. She thought he was tacky and nerdy, and would have been elated were he to get transferred. She knew he had a "crush" on her and it made things horribly awkward between them.

This was the way things had to be. Clark couldn't be with Lois, because Lois did not love Clark. She loved Superman, and only Superman.

LINE BREAK

Two hours later Lois had typed out her list. Every guy she ever came in contact with on a either regular, or somewhat regular basis was on the list. Every single one. Superman told her she didn't love him, but for him to get that idea in his head and act out on it he would have needed proof.

It pained Lois to realize that she had probably met Superman's other persona, and most likely did not treat him anywhere near the same way she treated Superman. She knew she could be a little off putting, but Lois figured everyone knew that it was just part of her charm. It's not like she really meant everything she said. Usually she just said whatever crossed her mind, and often times, what she said wasn't always a very accurate representation of her actual thoughts and feelings.

But she couldn't get too caught up on that at the moment. She needed to find her man. So, starting at the top of the list, Lois started to delete names. She started with hair color and a very big portion of names was deleted. Not many people that Lois came into contact with had black hair.

Then she deleted names based off physical build. Superman had a specific weight and height. Anyone who wasn't in the ballpark was deleted.

Glancing at her list, Lois frowned. There were still at least twenty names on the list. Lois sighed in irritation. How the crap did she know at least twenty guys with this specific profile?

Eye color! Superman had very vibrant blue eyes. But wait, what if he wore colored contacts? That's what she would have done if she had a secret identity. Okay so no eyes for now.

At this point Lois figured it was time to start the interrogations. She didn't want to get too specific and accidentally cross off Superman's secret identity.

Lois sent her list to the printer. She decided to start with the easiest person on the list: Clark Kent. He was her partner after all, he'd be sitting right there.

Glancing up she expected to find Clark, but he wasn't there. Confused she looked around, but he wasn't in sight.

"Jimmy? Where's Clark?" She asked her co-worker, who was editing some photos on his computer.

"He went home Lois. Remember he told you he had to leave early?" Jimmy replied. Lois didn't remember. Clark said so many unimportant things she tended to just tune him out.

Coming back from the printer Lois looked at Clarks name on her list. What to do? Lois thought about Clark, how awkward he was, how uncoordinated. He was always tripping on everything, and knocking things over. Or how about his nasally voice. It kind of made her wish she'd go deaf sometimes. Plus Clark was a pansy. He was practically scared of his own shadow.

Chuckling to herself, Lois crossed his name off the list with one of her pens. Looking back she couldn't even believe she'd put his name on the list in the first place.

Grabbing her pen, Lois set out. She was finally ready to find her super man.

LINE BREAK

A week and a half later Lois was sitting at her kitchen table with her head in her hands. She had crossed off everyone on her list. After a lot of time spent tracking people down she had asked them questions that only Superman would know the answer to. She tried to bring up inside jokes, hoping to get a incriminating response, but nothing. Every man was wrong. Was she wrong too? Was Superman real? Did he have another life? One that maybe if he let her, she could be a part of? Apparently not, or if he did Lois had never met him, and if that were the case it would be impossible for Lois to figure it out. She would never see Superman again.

The tears came unbidden, and unwanted. She didn't want to cry. She'd cried more in the last several weeks than she'd cried in her entire life. She hated him! How could he have done this to her? Why would he do this? Why would he make her love him so much, and then abandon her?

Lois picked up her glass and threw it across the room at the wall. It shattered, littering the ground with broken glass. She stared at the wet spot on the wall. She had been drinking wine, and it looked like blood.

Quickly she hurried and grabbed the broom and dustpan and swept up the glass. Then she wiped up the splattered wine. Sighing, she decided to go to bed.

As she turned off the living room lights, something on the floor caught the light from the kitchen lights. She had missed a piece of glass. Lois reached down to pick up the glass and accidentally cut her finger on the sharp edge.

She quickly took care of the cut and then headed to bed, as miserable as when she first woke up.

LINE BREAK

Lois sat at her desk, looking at the blinking cursor. She still only had the title: Where in the world was Superman? Bored she twirled her pen around her fingers.

"Ouch." She gasped, as the pen accidentally stabbed her cut.

"Lois! Are you okay?" Clark asked, rising out of his chair.

"I'm fine Clark." Lois replied, looking up at Clark. He was looking at her with concern.

"You're bleeding." He said grabbing her hand. Lois would have moved her hand away, but Clark was too quick. He pulled her hand towards him, examining it, and in that moment Lois saw him. The man that she loved, holding her hand, making sure she was okay. It was the epiphany of a lifetime. For several seconds she just stared at Clark, unbelieving of what she was seeing; what she hadn't seen this whole time.

Startled she ripped her hand away, and Clark looked up. She started at him wide-eyed, mouth agape.

"Are you alright? Did I hurt you?" Clark asked, reaching for her hand again.

"I have to go. Tell Perry I'm taking a half day." Lois said and ran out.

Lois rushed all the way to her apartment. She didn't want to think until she had a safe place to let her emotions out. As soon as she saw her living room she fell down to her knees, crying into the couch cushions.

Clark! Superman was Clark, or really, Clark was Superman. All this time, he was right there. Literally right there! She was so stupid. How hadn't she seen it before? Now that she realized, it was so obvious, and yet so genius. Was he really clumsy and nerdy? Superman wasn't, so was it all an act? But why would he do that? She … she had always been so mean to Clark. How on earth could he love her when she treated him like dirt most of the time? Okay, she didn't treat him like dirt, but she didn't exactly enjoy his presence either.

Lois thought she couldn't ever forgive Superman for doing this to her, but now that she had realized that Superman was Clark, it made sense why he would. Of course Clark would want reassurance that Lois … what? Did she love him? She knew she loved Superman, but did she love Clark? They seemed like two different people entirely, and yet they were the same. Somewhere inside of Clark was Superman. But which one was real, or were they both real, or both fake, or was he something in-between? How could Lois know? Who was Clark, and who was Superman?

It was so confusing. How could she love someone and dislike them so much at the same time? But did she really dislike Clark? It seemed so harsh to say, but secretly, she knew she had. But why? The obvious answer was because she didn't like having partners and Perry forced them to be partners. Then of course the shy, nerdy, country-boy act got old so very fast. She always felt like Clark was so naïve and well, honestly, doomed to remain a bachelor for the rest of his life. Maybe he would find some nerdy country girl to be with, but …

"AHH!" Lois screamed out loud. She pulled on her hair, and pounded her fists on the couch. Why was this happening to her? Drained, she laid down on the floor. It wasn't fair. Why did Superman have to be Clark? Out of every single person in the entire world, it had to be stupid, clumsy, nerdy, sweet, caring, Clark. Even knowing, even having seen for herself, she still couldn't really believe that Clark was Superman. They were just so different, and yet she couldn't deny what she had seen with her own eyes. Superman, holding her hand, making sure she was okay. Superman, wearing a suit and tie and ridiculous glasses, at work. Superman … Clark … in a suit. She remembered the first time she saw Clark, before he said anything to change her impression. She thought he was … attractive. It was hard to admit it to herself now. She had spent a lot of time afterwards telling herself she didn't actually think Clark was cute, but initially, her first impression … He had come in late to work. His hair was windswept and his tie was askew. She had noticed that her head wasn't the only female one that followed him as he walked into Perry's office. When had her attraction turned into scorn? When did she decide that Clark deserved to be yelled at and belittled? She couldn't remember.

Suddenly someone knocked on her front door. Lois contemplated not getting it, but she was too curious to not find out who it was. She opened the door and there was Clark.

"Hi Lois. I brought you some soup. You left work so suddenly, and you cut your finger… I thought m-maybe you didn't have time to make yourself dinner?" He said offering Lois a covered pot.

Lois opened her mouth to give a scathing reply about how if she left work early, she would actually have had more time to make dinner, but then she caught herself. She opened the door wider.

"Why don't you come in Clark?" She asked and then walked away and into the kitchen to go get some bowls.

When she turned around, Clark was hesitantly standing in the entryway to her kitchen. He seemed nervous, only able to look at her every few seconds, but then having to look away.

Lois walked over to the table and motioned him to come over. Clark set the pot down on the hot pad Lois had placed down, and then did a double take at the two bowls. Without asking whether or not he was hungry, Lois ladled some soup into both bowls and then sat down. She pushed the bowl towards the seat next to her. Clark sat down, staring at Lois in surprise.

Lois took a sip of her soup. She had to hold back a moan. It definitely did not come out of a can, that's for sure.

"This is amazing Clark. Did you make it?" She asked. Clark stirred his soup.

"Yeah, I … when I get the time, I enjoy cooking." He replied. Lois looked at Clark as he finally took a sip. He glanced at her nervously, not used to Lois being so nice.

When Lois had invited Clark into her apartment, she had intended to confront him about being Superman, but now, looking at his scared face with his anxious posture, she didn't think she could. He was expecting her to yell at him, simply for being nice and making her dinner. She was ashamed to admit that she probably would have too, before she knew.

"Thank you. For making me dinner and thinking about me." Lois said. Clark's eyes widened slightly. Lois smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Of course Lois." Clark replied. They ate in silence for a moment.

"Why don't you stay and watch a movie with me? We can make a night of it." Lois asked, surprising even herself. Clark's head snapped up to look at her, his mouth agape. He started to blush, and Lois couldn't help it, she thought it was extremely cute.

"A-are you s-sure?" He asked, stuttering in his nervousness. Lois smiled. Superman stuttering was cute. Why hadn't she ever thought that Clark stuttering was cute too?

"Yep. Go pick something out while I put the rest of this in the fridge."

LINE BREAK

Lois looked over at Clark as the movie ended. He was completely out. He had fallen asleep about halfway through, and she couldn't bring herself to wake him up. How many hours of sleep did he get between his job, and his Superman responsibilities? Granted, he wasn't playing Superman right now, but even still, he probably needed to catch up on sleep.

About twenty minutes after he had fallen asleep she had reached over and taken off his glasses. The change was startling. It was crazy the change a pair of glasses could make.

After that, she had spent more time watching Clark than the movie. His quiet, exhausted breaths, and his hair swept gently across his forehead. She had been tempted to reach up and run her fingers through his hair several times. Every time she chickened out though. She didn't want to wake him up yet.

After an intense mental debate, Lois snuggled up to Clark, wedging herself under his arm. Then, with a smile on her face she closed her eyes, and fell asleep too.

LINE BREAK

When Clark woke up he was way too comfortable. There was something warm pressed up against him, something he had his arm around and was clutching to his chest. He must have fallen asleep on his couch again. He did that sometimes; times when the bed seemed too big for only one person.

Something around his waist squeezed gently, startling Clark.

"Morning." A soft voice said. It was Lois's voice.

Clark's eyes snapped open and he sat up, staring at Lois in shock.

Now he remembered: the soup, and the movie. He had fallen asleep, and accidentally stayed the night.

"Lois!" He gasped. "I'm sorry, I fell asleep. I didn't mean to stay the whole night." He said, hoping Lois wouldn't get mad at him. Any minute though the yelling would start.

"It's okay. I probably should have woken you up, but you were exhausted." She replied, sitting up too.

"Oh." Clark said. He wasn't sure what to do now. Should he just get up and leave, or … would they have breakfast together? He should probably go. He reached up to adjust his glasses and then realized they weren't there. Horror washed through him. He had been talking to Lois, as Clark, without his glasses. He was looking at Lois right now, and she was staring back at him. A smile started to creep onto her face at Clark's panic.

"Missing something?" She asked. Crap, she was up to something, and it had something to do with his glasses. He opened his mouth to respond but was cut off.

"You know Clark, it's amazing what a small pair of glasses can do to a person's face. It can almost make that person look completely different. Almost like a different person." Lois looked at him knowingly.

Clark looked at Lois in shock. She knew. She knew he was Superman.

"You know." He said quietly.

"Are you referring to the fact that you're Superman, or was there some other big secret that you've been keeping from me?" Lois said. At first she was still trying to be somewhat joking, but by the end of her sentence she was upset. Clark flinched, looking at her miserably. He was still reeling over the fact that Lois knew he was Superman.

"You are going to tell me everything. You owe me that after these last several weeks when you left me alone." Lois said. Clark nodded, looking like a kicked puppy.

"And Clark," Lois said. Clark looked at her nervously. "I mean everything."

LINE BREAK

It took a while for Clark to explain his childhood. But it was nice to talk about when he was developing his powers. If felt like he was being relieved of a huge weight. Yet when Clark thought he was done explaining, Lois still had questions, and she was not joking when she said he would tell her everything.

"So, do you love me?" She finally asked. Clark felt drained from the … interrogation, and wasn't ready for this question. He'd never actually said the words before. He swallowed.

"Yes." He said simply. Lois looked at him seriously, but inside she was fighting a smile.

"I want to hear it." She said. She wasn't going to make this easy for him yet.

Clark looked away nervously. He started blushing, and Lois felt her heart swell. She loved this man. She loved him more than she'd ever loved anyone else.

"I love you." Clark said quietly, blushing intensely, while finally looking at Lois. The pure honesty in his eyes blew Lois away. Clark was shy, and she knew it was hard for him to declare his love out loud. Especially like this.

She leaned forward, till her face was right in front of his. His breath caught in his throat.

"I love you too, Clark." She said, and Clark gasped. Then she closed the gap between them and kissed him.

She had never kissed Superman. She had wanted to, pretty much every time she was with him, but the timing wasn't ever right. But this, this was right. She knew it was right. And when she tasted the salty tears from Clark, and felt their wetness on her cheeks, she fully understood why he needed to do this, because kissing Clark, right after declaring her love for "Clark" rather than "Superman", made her happier than "Superman" ever had. And if this moment had that effect on her, she couldn't even imagine how unbelievably perfect it must be for him.

LINE BREAK

The following weeks seemed like a dream. Lois and Clark both were finally able to be honest with each other, and express how they felt about things. Not to mention, that Lois could finally be honest with herself about how she really had felt about Clark all this time.

Lois profusely apologized to Clark for the way she had treated him over the years, and explained why she had been that way. It wasn't so much that she didn't like Clark, but she just didn't like having a partner. Especially someone so new to the game. It had felt like an insult to be paired up with someone so inexperienced. Then when it turned out that Clark was actually pretty good, it was frustrating that he caught on so quickly. It seemed unfair that she had spent so much time climbing the ladder to get where she was, and he came on at the last minute and was riding her coattails.

Looking back, Lois felt terrible, and extremely immature for her feelings and her actions. Clark was good, and when she wasn't being a snot, they actually made a great team.

Mostly though, Lois was just grateful she had finally found her man. She had loved Superman, but she loved Clark even more. Now that she knew, Clark felt free to be his true self with her. Clark Kent wasn't nerdy, clumsy, or annoying. It was an act, and it made Lois secretly happy … well, actually it wasn't a secret. She'd tell him all the time that she was glad he didn't act all "nerdy" when they were alone together.

Clark was a mix between the person she knew as Clark, and the person she knew as Superman, and Lois felt like his true self was the best parts from both.

It only took about a week for Lois and Clark to become established as a "couple" among their co-workers. Lois and Clark never really put a label on it, but since they started getting along really well, and they would spend time together outside of work-related things, it caught on.

Two weeks after their first kiss, they moved in together.

Two months after that, Clark proposed, and Lois said yes.

It wasn't a perfect life, but to Lois and Clark, they wouldn't have had it any other way.


End file.
